4 months, 1 week & 2 days

Four months, one week and two days. That is how long it has been since my husband left with the Army.

In so many ways the time has flown by. It feels like he just left last week and we still have forever to go til his graduation in June, but in reality we only have two months, four weeks and two days. Less time than what we have already experienced.

I see the length in time, when I look at our girls, the way they have adjusted. They no longer plead at bedtime for him, they no longer cry hysterically for him the way they did in the past. It's not that they have forgotten about their dad or no longer love him, they have just figured out that even though Daddy is gone, they will eventually see him again and that he still loves them.

I see the amount of time he has been gone, in myself. I use to be so nervous to take the girls anywhere, alone. Not because I was scared..I just didn't want to tackle the experience of dealing with two children throwing a fit in the middle of HEB and not being able to just walk out..because I still had to shop for groceries. Or taking them to the playground and them not wanting to do the same thing and me having to be in two separate places. I have figured out ways to get through those situations. I no longer worry about going someplace with them, by myself, because I know that I can handle it. I no longer crawl into bed at night, a complete wreck because my foot warmer is states away. I don't wake up in the middle of the night wondering where he is, to eventually remember he's gone. And once again, this isn't me not loving him..this is me realizing life has to continue when he's gone and I have to remain positive to keep my girls and myself positive.

I am so ready to get this separation over with and to finally live and function as a family again. I'm not wishing this time away, because right now he can't be deployed, and even though we aren't together..he is safe. I am thankful for the fact that right now, I'm not scared that he will be deployed in a week or a month, because I know that his feet are guaranteed on American soil, til June 10th. So June 10th...take all the time you want, there is no rush for you to get here. I love my husband, more than anything in this world..and I can wait.

I am going to see him next weekend. We almost canceled that trip last night, in the thoughts of saving money. I will be driving 13+ hours the first weekend of April to see him with the girls, so it honestly wouldn't kill me to wait a few more weeks, but we decided..we really need this upcoming weekend. We haven't had a weekend just us since Mackenzie was born. Honestly, we haven't had a night just us since our honeymoon. This trip will just be like another honeymoon! We are both extremely excited and I think we are owed this trip, who knows when we will get the opportunity again.

Tim and I are excited to start this next chapter in our lives, as a family of four. We have always been a family of four..but a family of four PLUS some. We have always lived within 5 miles of both families, which has been amazing and we are so thankful..but it'll be neat to be just us also. To experience what most married couples/families experience all the time.

We should be learning our duty station soon, and I am ready to know where we will be calling home for the next four years. Tim's current room mates are graduating in April, the class before him, and a good lot of them received Korea as their upcoming assignment location. A friend's husband said the group before him received Hawaii. Personally, I'd love Alaska or Colorado. Two beautiful states!! You know what, I don't care where we get (Dear God, PLEASE not New York!) because we will be together and it will be amazing.