I think I need a bigger box...

Want to learn a perk about deployments, insert head nod here, you get to fall in love with your spouse all over again.

Really, you do.

Honestly, this deployment hasn't been that horrible. I miss my husband tremendously..I miss him so much that it makes my heart ache. I get that knot in my stomach and I find myself constantly choking back a lump in my throat. I find that I cry at the drop of a hat over anything that reminds me of him. I miss him, but man..I am so proud of him!!

Last week I assembled a list of items I wanted to send in his first care package. The list includes lots of junk food, framed photographs for his desk at work and an assortment of other stuff. This past weekend was spent going out to different stores and buying things that would make my husband laugh and think 'only my wife!'. In those activities, I was able to fall in love with him all over again. I was given the opportunity to show him that I was thinking about him, by putting thought into each item. I can't wait to hear from him when he opens his box. Speaking of which..I think I need a bigger box. As I sit here with all my items beside me..I don't think they'll fit in the box my mother-in-law gave to me. I may need a couple more!!

What a fun thing to be able to do for him, in fact, I plan on doing a box each pay period! I want each box to feel like a bit of home. The miles may separate us, but they most definitely can't keep us apart.

They are gone

As of today, the men are gone.

They have packed their bags, they have boarded the planes..they have flown to far away countries. As couples we exchanged hugs, kisses, last minute embraces and then said our goodbyes til the next time we would meet.

As friends, we laughed, joked, tried to act like this wasn't really happening. Tried to hold on to a sense of normalcy for as long as we could. Then the time came, tears began to flow..and goodbyes took place. Today, this deployment feels as real as it ever has.

For the past two weeks my husband has been gone, but it hasn't felt as though he was sent off across the world. Sure, we've been dealing with crazy time changes, phone calls at 1 am, but I had it in my head he was only out in the field. After all, with our best friends still home..it certainly felt that way.

Now, my husband is gone..my best friends are gone and this deployment is real. They aren't just being sent off for another training session, they aren't just 'playing' war.

I miss my husband, I miss my friends..I want this nightmare to be over.