Happy Anniversary.

The words were awesome.

'Baby, they moved graduation...it'll be on the 8th instead of the 15th, we'll be together for our anniversary!'

How awesome is that?! While I wished they had moved graduation to the 1st so we could spend our anniversary AND the 4th together...I'm definitely not complaining. I was worried we wouldn't be together this year..and then possibly next year as well. I'm mentally preparing myself for him to be deployed for our five year anniversary, so it's nice that we'll at least be together this year and not miss two in a row.

So its 25 days and a wake up til his graduation and I'm excited.

We will be making the very long drive, 14 hours, on Wednesday..watching him graduate Thursday morning and then immediately after we'll jump in the car for the long drive back. So lots of money, lots of car time and lots of stress for a 30 minute ceremony. Hey Tim, if you're reading this..don't ever doubt our love for you!

It'll be monsoon season in Arizona at that time..don't believe me? Look it up..
"In Arizona, as in other regions of the world including India and Thailand, we experience a monsoon, a season of high temperatures, high winds, and high moisture, resulting in potentially deadly weather.

June 15 will be the first day of the monsoon, and September 30 will be the last day.

Monsoon storms range from minor dust storms to violent thunderstorms. They can even spawn tornadoes, though that is very rare. Typically, Arizona monsoon storms start with heavy winds sometimes resulting in a visible wall of dust hundreds of feet high moving across the Valley. These dust storms are normally accompanied by frequent thunder and lightning often leading to heavy downpours. Monsoon rains average about 2-1/2", about 1/3 of our yearly rainfall."

I'm not looking forward to that at all. When we drove to Arizona in April we drove through two large sand storms. I'm talking about doing 15 mph on the highway in a 75mph speed zone, because we couldn't see 30 feet infront of us and large semi trucks were being blown off the road. It was crazy. Tim has already told me that the weather is getting bad up there, the wind is starting to pick up. Hooray....

::deep sigh::

::breathe in::

::breathe out::

I can finally breathe again, at least for a short bit.

Tim passed his FINAL test today, knocked that sucker out of the water with a 100%. No more tests...no more studying..no more note taking..no more freaking waiting anxiously all day to hear how his test went, no more classes!

He has his last class on Monday, and then FTX from the 15th through the 23rd, then GRADUATION!! My husband will be an intelligence analyst in the United States Army!

It's nice to be able to breathe for a bit without any concerns over tests. I can't believe that next month he'll be graduating and coming home with me. That is when the real worrying will begin...deployments. But as of right now..I breathe and I thank God.

A perfectly short weekend.

Like my play on words? PERFECTly, har har har..I'm a genius.

So Tim is officially back in Arizona and as I type this he is trying to find the van to take him back to post from the airport. Yeah, he JUST got there.

This past weekend was perfect, exactly what we needed. Family, family and oh yeah..more family.

Saturday we spent the morning at Tim's parents house and then the afternoon at the Rockin River Pool thats in Old Settlers. Mackenzie has been talking for at least a month, about wanting her daddy to take her to that pool, so he was obligated since I told her he would. :) We had a blast and Tim even refrained from killing the older boys who kept plowing over our girls, and if you know Tim, then you know that took some restrain on his part.

Later that evening we cooked out at my mother's. Tim and I made our awesome bacon wrapped jalapeños and my hands were screaming for hours afterwards. Tim is the one who slices them open, fills them with creme cheese and wraps them with bacon, without him we wouldn't have these slammin peppers, but without me..you couldn't eat them. Thats right, I'm the one who gets rid of the HOTNESS, I'm the one who takes the beating. My hands are in the bowl of water, full of jalapeño seeds and juices for over 30 minutes as I scrape them clean. It's me, all me, who makes these things edible..even for tiny toddlers. So Tim and I made our awesome jalapeños and he also made fajitas. The girls and I relaxed in the backyard while we watched him grill and play with Charlie, who missed him greatly.

After we finished eating, we put our girls to bed and went up to his parents house and hung out til around midnight.

Sunday morning we woke up and headed to Tim's parents house for a day at the lake. The girls had a blast and we all got a pretty good tan, except for Tim...he just burned. We ended up spending the rest of the evening at his parents house where we played games til around 11pm.

All good things must come to an end, or so they say, so this morning Tim had to go back. His parents, sister, the girls and myself all escorted him to the airport where his family and the girls told him bye and I went back with him to wait. I am so thankful for gate passes! It's nice to not have to tell him bye just to know that he'll be sitting alone for an hour til he loads the plane. It's also nice to see the recognition he receives for being a soldier. He received many thank yous, as did I, handshakes and he was even bumped up to first class for his first flight. I must say, I love to be seen standing by his side while he is in uniform, I am so proud of my husband. That, and he's really stinking hot and all mine.

Well...44 days and a wakeup til he graduates from AIT and will be heading back to Texas. I am very excited for this day to come and can't wait til I can see him again!

I hate being hopeful

I hate being hopeful. Every time I hope for something, the exact opposite happens.

Today Tim is turning in a letter requesting leave for the four day memorial weekend that is coming up, at the request of his SGT.

None of the soldiers in his current platoon are being allowed to go home but a few of the separate platoons are being allowed too. Tim had asked his platoon sgt awhile back if he'd be able to come home due to me not having a POA, (palm to face moment) and me wanting/needing to trade in our Pontiac for a different vehicle. His platoon SGT told him that there was no way in hell that anyone in his platoon would be going home unless it was a medical/financial emergency.

So Tim wrote off the idea, so I thought, and his family ended up planning a trip up there to see him. I hadn't planned on going this time.

Well yesterday he called me and told me that the SGT that had originally told him 'no way in hell' was gone on leave and a separate SGT, that Tim had mentioned his idea to in the first place, told him to write a letter listing his reasons for needing to come home and that he would see what he could do. So today, Tim turned in that letter.

I think our reasons are good ones. We need a new car, ours is still having mechanical issues and I'm nervous of it breaking down on the side of the road with myself and two kids in it. Not only that, but its Texas..and Texas gets hot. I'd rather not be broken down on the side of the road with two young kids, in a black car..in the Texas heat. No thank you.

Now some of you may be wondering, 'Tara, can't you do this on your own?' the quick answer 'yes but no'. Tim's name is on the title and I would need him there to sign or I'd need a POA 'power of attorney' , which I don't have. Yes, I'm dumb. I already know this.

Tim could go to the JAG office on post and get one to mail to me, but the JAG office is only open during the week which is when Tim is in class. With him already being recycled once..and learning new material for his LAST test..we don't really want to run the risk of him missing any class time. So yes, I could do this all on my own..but I can't without a POA.

So we are hoping that Tim is allowed to fly home for the four day weekend and we'd be able to go trade in our piece, for a new car.

Now, another question I know someone is thinking of, 'why not wait til after graduation?'. My response 'who wants to pay for me a rental to drive to graduation in?' or 'who wants to come pick me up on the stretch to El Paso when I break down driving to Huachuca mid July?' Any takers? Didn't think so.

So here I sit, hoping that his request will be approved and I'll be picking up my husband from the airport sometime next week. But we all know how me being hopeful turns out..

sometimes doctors are stupid..

So Tim had that evil test again last week, and he passed it!

I didn't want to write about it on Facebook or talk about it in blog, because I'm a weirdo and didn't want to jinx it. So I kept my mouth shut and prayed like crazy for good things. Well, good things happened.

Tim passed the test with a 90! Besides the test that he failed, then kicked its ass, he hasn't scored beneath a 90. Go Tim! He has only 3 tests left to pass in order to graduate. Think good things for me... :)

He also went to the Dermatologist today for his trench foot since it wasn't getting better. Want to know why it wasn't getting any better, the freaking doctors who saw him are dumbasses. Yes, I'm calling 8 different doctors, complete idiots.

It's not freaking Trench Foot and that is why what they told him to do, isn't making it any better. He has a bacterial infection on his foot. The dermatologist told him that he must have really bad luck, and just happened to cross a disgusting bacteria that attacked his feet. So they prescribed him an ointment and told him if it's not better in a week to come back. Hopefully this will work and his feet will get better.

So, in my excitement I have started trying to find out as much as I can about Fort Hood. Tim and I had talked about renting a house off post in the Copperas Cove area, but decided that living on post will be more convenient. I have checked out housing and it's not bad, especially since Fort Hood has a '1 bedroom per child' rule. Also, taking into consideration that it's the largest Army post(population wise), it'd probably just be easier for Tim to not have to fight traffic getting on post in the morning on his way to work.

Our issue at hand currently is that we need to buy a washing machine, dryer, lawn mower and a weed eater. YAY! We also have to wait to see if our house will have a fence for our dog. If it doesn't we will either pay to have one built or we will invest in a dog run for the backyard. We plan on keeping him indoors the majority of the time..but we will need somewhere to put him in the backyard when we leave for a long amount of time. After all...he's been an outdoor dog for 6 years, it won't kill him.

We have to be put on the wait list for housing, hopefully it doesn't take too long because I am eager to get moved in and situated in our own home. I love my mother, and appreciate her generosity, but we've lived here since April 2009, and I am ready to be in my own home again.

July fifteenth two-thousand ten.

Yesterday morning he went to the doctor who told him that if his feet don't improve after he goes to see a Dermatologist next week, that they will medically discharge him. Wow, so feet.. please heal. The doctor IS allowing him to return to class, thankfully, so he won't be missing any days in class or any study hall sessions. This new cycle also has class every other Saturday, so that's a plus for me, but I'm sure the soldiers hate it. Oh well, anything that provides more classroom time for Tim, makes me happy.

He has been told that his predicted graduation date is July 15th, 2010 for this cycle. This makes me VERY happy. When he graduated from BCT, it was freezing and wet, not the best 'looking fabulous' weather. When I realized he'd be graduating in the summer..I already made my mind up, sundress!

They have these unwritten rules for military graduations, no B's. This means, no boobs, no butts, no backs, no bra(straps). Of course you'll always find people who don't follow these rules, but me, I'd rather comply and not draw any unnecessary negative attention towards my husband. This is when I'd be meeting his superiors, his friends, his teachers and I'd rather not wear something off the wall and them think craptastic things about me. It's about representing your soldier, not yourself, so you should wear something that reflects positively towards them. There are other days I could wear something that would make my ass look amazing, can't say chest obviously, so I don't need to possibly make him look bad in order to feel better about myself. This is his day, and he should have nothing but positive memories about it.

::climbs down and pushes soap box away:: :)

So when I say sundress, I mean something with taste. No low plunging neckline or something that cuts off closer to the crotch than the knee. Something like this..

I love that dress. It's simple. Classy. And I can accessorize! So, that is what I want..or something like it. It doesn't necessarily have to be a solid color..but that style is what I'm aiming for.

I am excited for Graduation, I can't wait...now we just gotta get those feet taken care of and we will be all good. Are there any foot doctors in the house I can mail to my husband?...what..just askin.

Oh that blasted Army, always changing...

So after being told that Tim would stay at Fort Huachuca for an additional 21 weeks..he was told yesterday that he was being placed in a class that will have him graduating in July. Normally this would be great news, we won't be separated til September and he won't have to redo the first 9 weeks of his training, but this has me stressing out more than THAT idea did.

The class he is joining is two weeks behind his old class, meaning that their next test is the test he was failed on. Awesome, he won't have to wait long, not so awesome..he's still on bed rest/quarters and can't attend class.

Do you see my reason for a slight freakout? They are expecting him to pass this upcoming test..without allowing him time in class to get a refresher and learn the material again. He went to class this morning and is going to a doctor's appointment today at 1130, where hopefully his doctor will be generous and say his feet seem to be improving and allow him off bed-rest (Tim say's his feet don't look any better). If this happens, he plans on going to study hall every day and studying his notes on the weekend.

I know God has a plan in all of this and that is what Tim and I are trying to lean upon to keep ourselves from going crazy, but sometimes..I wish he didn't trust my sanity so much! :)

I will keep everyone posted and I request that you keep him in your prayers. If he is to not pass the class this go around, he will be placed in a separate MOS..one that is in the critical field.

Oh the Military...

So, Tim is still on quarters for the next few days. The doctors informed him yesterday that his foot still isn't getting better.

He also found out what will be happening with his training. He will be restarted from the beginning of his training, but not need to take any tests til he gets to the one that he failed. He has been moved from Delta company to Charlie and moved out of the two man room/4 man suites, back down to the 40+ man bays. He will also be losing the privileges that he worked so hard to get. The next cycle doesn't start for another three weeks, so when he is let off of quarters he will be doing detail(mopping/cleaning) until then. So basically...he got a pretty crappy deal.

This means that he will be at Fort Huachuca, for an additional 21 weeks. Instead of graduating in June, it will now be sometime in September. Oh the military..

June 10th no more.

June 10th, at the time you seemed so far away...now you seem right around the corner.

Tim is no longer graduating on June 10th, like we had been expecting.

After passing every single test with a score never under 92, and while maintaining a 97 average..he was flunked on a test that he provided correct answers for..just provided too much information.

He took his test April 6th, and was told shortly after that he failed it. They told him that he provided too much information. We can only assume that since he's intel, that he was failed because you can't give too much information in that field. The following day, Wednesday, he had a retest. Once again, he provided the correct answers..just not worded properly. Say instead of using 'unfavorable' he used the words 'not good'. Ridiculous reasons. Apparently the Sergeant that was grading the tests was grading based off the rubric.

**In AIT you are only able to fail a test twice, the first time and the retry, before you're restarted or reclassed. Restarting would have him retaking the course again, either from the beginning or putting him with a class that is coming up on what he just failed. Reclassing is switching mos', which normally only happens if a person is restarted and fails again or requests to be put in a critical MOS.**

Since he has been doing great in his class, sits at the front, takes TONS of notes and aces his tests..his teachers wrote an appeal to their superiors on Thursday, requesting he be able to take the test a third time. A few of his classmates even joined in and wrote appeals as well. So we waited, and we waited, and waited some more to hear what would happen.

He had spoke to his directors in his class and told them he was thinking about just reclassing to a separate mos. His director told him he'd be stupid to do that, that he was amazing in this field. He told Tim that they grade off the rubric, which sees in black and white. He told Tim, 'most people in the intel field see things in black and white without any shades of grey. You see in shades of grey. You have common sense in this area, which a lot of people lack. We need people like you, to even out those that can't see it that way.' I'm pretty sure that made Tim feel better, because honestly, he does kick ass in the intelligence field.

That weekend, Tim showed one of his sgt's his foot and his sgt told him that if he saw him in class Monday morning, he'd give him an Article 15 and drag his ass down to sick call himself. So early Monday morning, Tim went to sick call.

Tim waited for five hours before he was seen by a doctor. The doctor came in, told Tim to take off his boot and sock and then he turned around to wash his hands. When he turned back around, Tim said he nearly hurled all over the floor from the smell and sight of his foot.

I guess I haven't explained that part yet. When I went to see Tim in March, he was complaining about a small, quarter sized, part on the side of his foot that was raw and tingled. At the time it just looked like a blister from running in his boots, so we blew it off. When I went to visit him for his birthday..he showed his mother and said it had gotten worse. I didn't look because I was eating, I didn't want to hurl. Anyway, turns out it had gotten a lot worse.

Well, when the doctor saw it..he called in the head doctor for that area..who in turn, called in 6 more doctors. They told Tim that he had a severe case of trench foot, and it was beyond any cream or medicine. They told him he needed to keep it dry and if it got any worse, they'd talk amputation. They were worried about gangrene setting in. He was put on profile; no PT and he couldn't wear anything but flip flops so that his feet would dry out and heal.

Later that week (12th-16th), he was told that since he was on profile and wouldn't be able to do the upcoming training that was required to graduate, that he wouldn't be able to retake the test. They told him he was going to be a restart and that he was going to be put on quarters til his foot healed.

Quarters, when he is stuck to his room til his foot either A) gets better B) rots off. So basically, he gets to go crazy stuck in his room all day ever day. Can you say cabin fever?

He had a doctors appointment this morning to see how his foot is healing. Hopefully the doctor thinks it's getting better and allows him to go back to class. This whole 'not knowing when the next time I'll see my husband is' thing is fairly irritating. If they tell him he can go back to class...hopefully he will find out where he is at in his training. Whether they are going to restart him from the beginning or wait til an upcoming class reaches where he is at.

I'm not expecting him to graduate before November to be honest. If he does graduate in November like I'm expecting..that means by the time he is done with training..he will have been gone from us, the length of a deployment. No, I'm not saying it's like a deployment, for very obvious reasons, but the time apart and not living and functioning as a family..will be the same. They are being told to expect deployment within 90 days of graduation, if that is the case..we will have been apart for a year, together for three months, then he'll be gone for another year.

The reality of that possible situation is slowly sinking in. The silver lining in all of this is that Tim has non-deployable status longer since he'll be in training longer..and that he's knocking more time off his contract being in training.

4 months, 1 week & 2 days

Four months, one week and two days. That is how long it has been since my husband left with the Army.

In so many ways the time has flown by. It feels like he just left last week and we still have forever to go til his graduation in June, but in reality we only have two months, four weeks and two days. Less time than what we have already experienced.

I see the length in time, when I look at our girls, the way they have adjusted. They no longer plead at bedtime for him, they no longer cry hysterically for him the way they did in the past. It's not that they have forgotten about their dad or no longer love him, they have just figured out that even though Daddy is gone, they will eventually see him again and that he still loves them.

I see the amount of time he has been gone, in myself. I use to be so nervous to take the girls anywhere, alone. Not because I was scared..I just didn't want to tackle the experience of dealing with two children throwing a fit in the middle of HEB and not being able to just walk out..because I still had to shop for groceries. Or taking them to the playground and them not wanting to do the same thing and me having to be in two separate places. I have figured out ways to get through those situations. I no longer worry about going someplace with them, by myself, because I know that I can handle it. I no longer crawl into bed at night, a complete wreck because my foot warmer is states away. I don't wake up in the middle of the night wondering where he is, to eventually remember he's gone. And once again, this isn't me not loving him..this is me realizing life has to continue when he's gone and I have to remain positive to keep my girls and myself positive.

I am so ready to get this separation over with and to finally live and function as a family again. I'm not wishing this time away, because right now he can't be deployed, and even though we aren't together..he is safe. I am thankful for the fact that right now, I'm not scared that he will be deployed in a week or a month, because I know that his feet are guaranteed on American soil, til June 10th. So June 10th...take all the time you want, there is no rush for you to get here. I love my husband, more than anything in this world..and I can wait.

I am going to see him next weekend. We almost canceled that trip last night, in the thoughts of saving money. I will be driving 13+ hours the first weekend of April to see him with the girls, so it honestly wouldn't kill me to wait a few more weeks, but we decided..we really need this upcoming weekend. We haven't had a weekend just us since Mackenzie was born. Honestly, we haven't had a night just us since our honeymoon. This trip will just be like another honeymoon! We are both extremely excited and I think we are owed this trip, who knows when we will get the opportunity again.

Tim and I are excited to start this next chapter in our lives, as a family of four. We have always been a family of four..but a family of four PLUS some. We have always lived within 5 miles of both families, which has been amazing and we are so thankful..but it'll be neat to be just us also. To experience what most married couples/families experience all the time.

We should be learning our duty station soon, and I am ready to know where we will be calling home for the next four years. Tim's current room mates are graduating in April, the class before him, and a good lot of them received Korea as their upcoming assignment location. A friend's husband said the group before him received Hawaii. Personally, I'd love Alaska or Colorado. Two beautiful states!! You know what, I don't care where we get (Dear God, PLEASE not New York!) because we will be together and it will be amazing.