Feeling a little hip..

Life has been crazy these past few weeks.

On November 13th, my mother fell while working at the UT game and broke her hip. To answer your next question, the number is zero. She fell down zero stairs! There weren't any stairs involved, she tripped over a sewage drain in the middle of a walkway in a dark tunnel. Yeah, recipe for disaster if you ask me and UT must agree, two days later said sewage drain was no longer there. She underwent hip replacement surgery and was moved to a rehab clinic. Thankfully she was able to come home the day before Thanksgiving and has been at home recovering since.

On December 3rd-5th, Tim and I attended a marriage retreat that the Army put together. It took place at Lake Way Resort and Spa out on Lake Travis, and it was beautiful!! Not only was the location great, the food amazing, the company awesome..but the course was wonderful too. We left with a deeper understanding of each other, hard to imagine seeing as we've been together 6 years, and with a new way of communicating. It was amazing, I hope after this deployment we'll be able to attend another.

OPSEC

I am a complete psycho when it comes to certain things and I accept this.

One thing I am very crazy about is my husband's safety, along with the other soldiers in my life. I love these boys, they mean the world to me, I don't want anything to happen to any of them. 

Rules are put into place to keep people safe, they may not make much sense to you, but there may be a bigger picture that you cannot see or understand.

The rule that I am speaking about is OPSEC. 

OPSEC, also known as Operational Security, is the principle that we, as military wives and military family members, should all abide by when talking about our soldiers. If you’ve been on any military related message board on the internet, you have more than likely seen a warning to be sure to practice OPSEC. This means protecting the information you know about your soldier and his unit. Generally this means that you don't give out the following information, exact location overseas, any info on troop movement and always practice caution when uploading photos from a war zone. Certain aspects of a photo can give away our soldier's locations. 

A very simple violation of OPSEC that I have seen countless times is giving out dates for returns and departures.  Never give dates or times for troop movements. Keep in mind that “next Thursday” is a date. This includes R&R dates as well as deployment and redeployment dates. Planes have been delayed for days or weeks because an excited family member made this information public. Training dates are included in OPSEC. 

People sometimes feel that since their soldier isn't on their way to a war zone that they shouldn't feel threatened. There are people here in the United States that wish to do harm to our soldiers/military, their safety here is just as important as it is overseas. Let's do everything to keep them safe wherever they may be.

Let's stay busy!

For the next month, I plan on staying busy, well as busy as I can.

Tim leaves the end of this week for NTC, which for you non-military folk, stands for National Training Center. It is at Fort Irwin in California and without going into detail..it is basically where the Army sends their soldiers to train and prepare before deployment. Tim will be gone at NTC for a month and hopefully will be home sometime before Thanksgiving.

The Army sure likes to prepare wives for the long separations that come with deployments, NTC is another prep course for me. Less than a year ago Tim left for BCT and AIT, and 8+ months later he came home. We have spent the last 4 months, well less actually, enjoying over night fire guards, field trainings and long days with the Army. They really care about me, really want me to be trained for this. ;)

Tim is getting ready to leave for the next month and then will be home for about two months before he deploys. Yesterday was spent folding, organizing and packing Tim's gear. Tonight we are going to sit down and explain to the girls that he is having to leave again for a little bit, I pray Mackenzie doesn't cry.

Speaking of Mackenzie and this deployment, she is in a deployment support group at her school. They meet every Tuesday morning. This is why I am so thankful for us being able to live on-post and her to be able to attend an elementary on post, the support is amazing. In this group they are able to talk about their feelings, and they do projects that they send to their deployed parent. I'm sure once he is actually overseas, that this will be a big help for Mackenzie, to help her transition.

I'm not sure what the point of this entry is, besides talking about deployment..I guess just a way to keep my mind occupied. I'm not sad, not yet at least. I know this is his job and what he signed up for, it's what I signed up for too. I'm not sad yet, but be prepared for the entry the day he leaves in January. I'm sure it will be full of raw emotion.

Anyway, back to NTC, he leaves later this week. So far the week isn't rushing ahead of us and I'm thankful. I know when he comes back..the next time he leaves he'll be leaving for overseas. I hope the next month goes slowly, that it takes its time.

I'm having a bad week.

((I'm having a bad week, I don't like to be negative on the internet but I'm hoping a vent will make me less moody.)

The boys are in the field this week, lame.

I'm getting a nice little preview of long days without having a husband coming home at the end of them. This is going to suck. I cleaned upstairs yesterday and probably spent 3/4 of the time depressed because Pandora kept playing the saddest songs ever.

Speaking of the music world hating me yesterday, while making dinner and rocking out to the 90s channel on the TV...Aerosmith's 'Don't wanna miss a thing' came on.



Really? Eff you stupid Aerosmith. So I turned off the TV and turned on Pandora on my phone where the song 'Come Home Soon' by Shedaisy was playing.



Screw me, seriously!?

I ended up cooking to the sound of my kids running around upstairs.

I have decided that school full time sounds like a good idea while he is deployed...summer classes too probably. Anything to keep me busy. This is going to be hell.

God Bless America...and berries.

Man oh man, I'm horrible at updating this thing now.

Life is pretty busy lately with everything going on. Tim has been in training for his MOS and is working long days. He loves every minute of it and is actually doing better than most of the upper ranking soldiers in his class. They keep asking him if he's had the course before, which he hasn't. He leaves for field training on Sept 20th and then will be in the field come October 22nd, for a month. The military life isn't as bad as everyone makes it out to be, or maybe we haven't been in long enough. Besides the deployment factor, it's pretty normal. He works his job 9-4 with PT early every morning and he is off every Thursday by 1430 (2:30).

Can I just say again how much I LOVEEEE hearing all the songs they play over the loud speaker and how much I love hearing the planes and helicopters fly over my house? Cause I do, I love it! Yesterday, my walls were shaken twice by C-130s flying so low that I thought they may land in my drive way. A couple weeks ago I kept getting on to the girls, who were playing up stairs, to stop kicking my walls. Mackenzie ended up being right behind me and said 'mom, that's not us...that's the soldiers'. She was right..they must of been doing some training in the field because I could hear the 'bombs' going off. Quite crazy.

So I am in a book club, I know I know..someone alert the media. One of my friends up here, Jennifer, started a book club and a group of us wives meet together on Sunday's and have our book club meetings. Now before you laugh at us..we spend about 20 minutes discussing books then the next couple hours just talking. All of our husbands will be deploying together..so when they do so..we plan on also having weekly drinking nights and such ;) I love these girls, they are amazing and have made this so much easier.

So something in me must have clicked, I feel all wifely. Everyone who knows me, knows that I don't cook. I just don't do it, I don't like it. This works in my house. I raise the children, do the laundry, clean the house and all that jazz..Tim works and cooks. Oh he also mows the yard and takes out the trash and kills bugs. That's what men are for, right? Anyway..I've started cooking. Nothing fancy, I don't want to burn the house down just yet, but it's progress. Cooking from scratch get's expensive though..

My college classes are going well, thanks to my life saver. I was having some difficulty with my Macroeconomics class til I called my best friend, Ryka, who saved the day. I sat infront of the computer screen for a week straight, feeling like I was reading another language..and after sitting down with her..it all makes sense now. When I try it by myself, I just can't turn my brain on but when she explains it, a light switch just turns on. Ryka, you should become a teacher..seriously. I'm averaging a B so far, but hey, it's passing! Plus, everyone thinks I'm crazy for taking Macro instead of Micro or plain old Economics..but hey, if I pass this..I can definitely pass those.

Last week we were hit with an ass load of rain, like I mean TONS. That damn hurricane pushed up this massive wall of rain and it just poured for two days straight. I'm not sure how much we got here at Hood, but home in Round Rock (an hour South of us) they had 14 inches. The two roads leading to our community were completely flooded because some genius thought it'd be a bright idea to make the only entrances, ones that dipped low over a creek. So needless to say they were flooded and when the water finally went down, huge tree branches were on the road. I even had flooding come up into the front of my house. Thank goodness downstairs doesn't have carpet!


So Duke will be 12 weeks tomorrow and this dog has exploded. Last week he got ahold of one of Charlie's flea pills and suffered an overdose which resulted in us having to shell out $70 to make sure he wasn't going to die or have organ failure. I had given Charlie his medication, which was for an 80-120lb dog and Charlie spit it out and before I grabbed it, Duke had swallowed it. Duke weighs less than 20lbs. Within 20 minutes he was vomiting everywhere and refused to stand. Pretty scary stuff. Anyway, he has doubled his size and we're starting to believe he may be that 100lb German Shep we were expecting when we bought him. His feet are huge and his ears are too. I'll be happy when he is out of the puppy stage..we've seen a few people in the neighborhood eye balling him through the fence when they didn't realize we could see them. He now goes everywhere with us and won't be outside at night. He's such a good dog, can't risk someone trying to make him their own.

Oh, I also got my first tattoo..

Oh and one more thing..God Bless America...and apparently berries too.

236

It has been 236 days since I dropped my husband off at the recruiting station in Georgetown and drove away with a heavy stream of black mascara and eye liner running down my face. My lovely husband had bought me new makeup and failed to buy waterproof but I still wore it, even though I knew what would be the end result. 

I can't believe that by the time this is over..he will have been gone over 8 months. I look back and honestly..it flew by. I can only hope and pray that I get the same fast results with a deployment as I have with training. Honestly..we are ONLY 4 months short of a deployment. The major difference between the two is that during a 12 month deployment he'd only be home for 2 weeks for RR, unlike our multiple visits during training. So yes, I realize that they are nothing the same..nor is the stress that comes along with the two. But time wise...wow, it's flown by.

I'm eager to have my husband home and get our family back to functioning as a complete set, rather than a family separated. I have heard stories and have experienced it a bit myself, how different it will be at first. It may be hard but then again it may not, we'll just have to play it out and see. I've gotten use to flying solo while he's gotten use to not having to worry about the little things..like leaving a pen laying on the desk..or leaving the toilet seat up. ;)

I'm excited for us to finally move to Ft Hood, to finally live in our own place again. I'm ready to function as a family of four and be able to go to the pool on the weekends or to the movies, I'm ready for the family activities. It's the little things you don't notice until they are taken away..the simple things. I'm ready to be able to wake up next to my husband and have our girls crawl into bed with us like they use to do on the weekends. I'm ready to be able to sleep through the night, without having to roll over at 2am to make sure I haven't missed a phone call or text. I'm excited that one of the first things we will be doing when he comes home, is going to Sea World with the girls. Sea World allows military families a free one day pass every year, and we can't wait to use ours!

I know deployments are looming in our very near future, we expect him to be deployed before February, but I am trying to not think about that just yet. I want to be able to relax and enjoy the time I have with my husband, before he has to leave again. I want to make as many memories with him and our girls, as we can before he has to leave again. Those memories are what you cling on to, because you know that the loneliness won't always be there.  I know that God has a plan and I'm trying to trust completely on that. 

Tomorrow will be 11 days and a wakeup til Tim graduates and we drive back to Texas. I'm ready!

81 Days

81 days until Tim leaves for basic.

What am I going to do with myself to keep my sanity while he is gone? Stay busy...busy busy busy! I am currently looking for a job at a daycare or YMCA, where I can take the girls with me. I'm well aware that if I work and put my children in daycare I wouldn't make any money and all of it would go to child care costs, hence why I haven't worked in the past. BUT. I won't be working for the money..I will be working to keep the girls and myself busy and our minds off daddy being gone. It's going to be hard, but we can do it.

To the wives of husbands who are deployed, have been deployed or are soon to be deployed..I have such a high respect for you. For the women who are mom and dad while daddy is gone..I have such an extremely high level of respect for you. I am so thankful for each of you, for supporting your husbands while they are away. I will be honest, I was one of those people who took our military for granted. Yes, I was thankful they were doing what they were doing..giving up so many freedoms so we can keep ours..but I didn't fully understand. I still don't..and I won't until I experience it for myself. I just wanted you to know that I am thankful for you and for your husband's/boyfriends/fiance's willingness to serve our country.

So 81 days...81 days until Tim leaves..but that's 81 more days that I get to be with him before our new chapter begins. I love my husband..and couldn't be more proud of him for what he is about to do.

Is this what I get to look forward too?

So is this what I get to look forward too while Tim is gone at basic and AIT...?

Mackenzie didn't sleep a peep last night, well not until 6am that is. She slept for two hours (6am to 8am). She kept asking me for her daddy and kept telling me 'he needs to come home. i miss him'

Normally she falls asleep in her bed and in the middle of the night will crawl up onto our bed and sleep with her head on his back. Okay, so actually she sleeps with her head on his butt (he sleeps on his stomach) and her body is between his legs..but back sounds better. So lets just go with back. I normally will wake up when she does this and eventually put her back into her bed where she sleeps the rest of the night. Well..last night she didn't fall asleep like normal..and kept begging me for her daddy to come home. Tim had already explained to her where he would be going and when he would be back..so I couldn't say he would be home in a little bit. I tried..she said 'no, he comes home in a few days'

It was miserable..an absolutely miserable night.

Today I tried to keep them busy, and me. We went to Ryka's in the morning and the girls played with Grace.

I brought them home around noon and let Madison take a nap.
(I'm trying to make sure Mackenzie is sleepy tonight, so she skipped hers)

Then when Madison woke up we went to Sarah's so the girls could play with Kylie. We played over there for a couple hours..then we went to Oma's. By this point they were exhausted and hungry, so we left.






Mackenzie cried the entire way home in the car...once again asking for her daddy. She was crying so hard her body was shaking..it was pitiful. So of course I bought them both their first happy meal from McDonalds. It made me feel better.





Now we are home, and they are relaxing watching The Incredibles. I really hope tonight goes better for Mackenzie..and continues going okay for Madison. Momma needs to catch a break.. Tuesday can't come fast enough.

If this is what I get to look forward too...I'm not looking forward to it...at all.

Oh..my rambles.

Three years down...many more to come.

Tim and I celebrated our 3 year wedding anniversary yesterday, it doesn't seem like it's been that long. I can't believe how fast the time goes. This upcoming December will be 5 years for us. YIKES! Tim actually kept it low key this year, requested by me. For our anniversary I bought him a book he had wanted and he bought me roses and took me out to dinner, exactly what I wanted.

You probably noticed the photos I uploaded last night were taken with my phone, my mother currently has our camera. They (my mother, grandma and brother Trey) are currently on vacation. They are visiting the west coast states these next two weeks and I must admit, I'm jealous. They are visiting Washington, Oregon, British Columbia and California. My family use to always do long road trips when I was growing up. My mother would save all year long then we would take a HUGE road trip. I've been all over the nation thanks to her! When I say long road trips I mean..driving the east coast all the way up to New York into Canada and back down, making about hundred touring stops along the way. I've seen lots of cool stuff thanks to my mother, thank you momma!

So Tim has joined the Army as we all know. Since then I have become an information hound..wanting to know as much as I possibly can. It has been an emotional roller coaster for me..and he hasn't even gone to BCT yet! Since his basic will be during the winter months, he gets to come home for two weeks at Christmas time for 'Christmas Exodus'. While I am very excited about this, I think it's going to make it harder on him..having to go back. I know the positives will far outweigh the negatives though. Speaking of Christmas Exodus..I know there will be a good handful of people who will want to see him when he comes home for this and here is my forewarning.. if you want to see him..you will have to work around our schedule because I am going to be OVERLY selfish, haha.

I'm nervous about what's about to go on. While I have been told, mainly by my butt head brother, that there are tons of parents out there who have to play both roles while their spouse is gone and that they survive...that doesn't mean it's not hard. In fact, I'm very nervous about this. I know it's do-able..and that we will survive..but I'm not prepared yet to have to explain to Mackenzie that she can't have her daddy when she cries for him at night. I'm not prepared emotionally to have to lay down two girls at night by myself..who always ask for their daddy's kiss before going to sleep. They've never gone more than a night without him and whenever they do they always cry for him. I can see it now..Mackenzie crying 'I want my daddy' and me breaking down into tears saying 'I want him too'. Ha. But seriously though, I am nervous about it.

I have joined a forum on the internet, I do this when big things are happening that I'm not use to. I joined babycenter.com while pregnant with the girls, just so I could have someone to talk too experiencing the same things I was. Well I have done it again, www.goarmyparents.com . I'm currently on the 'Fort Jackson Families' thread talking to mothers/girlfriends/dads/sisters that currently have soldiers going to basic there. They have been a wealth of information already and he isn't even there yet!

While I am nervous about it and need to vent..I can't really vent to Tim about it. (He doesn't read my blogs, so don't think I'm an idiot by writing it where he can see.) I am trying not to let him know how I feel, he needs to be focused and not worry about me and how I'll do. He needs to be focused on getting physically and mentally ready for what he is going to be experiencing. So I will probably write on my blogs much more frequently while he is gone. I am trying to think of ways to keep the girls and myself busy while he is away, so any ideas or play dates are more than welcome!

I guess I just need to keep reminding myself to breathe and everything will be okay eventually!

Tim is in the army

So my husband is officially in the United States Army. His mos is 35F, Intelligence Analyst.

He leaves for basic on November 3rd, well he goes to San Antonio on November 3rd but is shipped out on November 9th to Fort Jackson, South Carolina.

His basic will be over on February 5th and he begins AIT on February 8th at Fort Huachuca, Arizona. His basic is 16 weeks.

It is a miracle that I can write this since things really weren't going our way, with no thanks to his recruiter.

We had been back and forth with separate recruiters, none of them feeling right. We finally found a recruiter that we liked and thought would do right by us. Well when he started looking at MOS's for Tim, he told Tim the only job that he could get was..Utilities Equipment Repairer (91C). Yeah, well I didn't like the sound of that. I would of rather Tim been a parachute rigger than fix AC's and Heaters. He could do that out of the military. Plus Tim's scores were awesome and we had already been told that he was open to all jobs except a few in the electronics.

So last week on Wednesday the 17th, my brother Trenton went with Tim up to talk to the recruiter. The recruiter was a complete dick to Tim and my brother and made Tim out to be an idiot. Tim had asked him about aviation and the guy had told him, it was no longer open for the year. Well on Wednesday he told my brother, with Tim sitting there, 'you never asked me about that'. Yeah..bunch of nonsense, I was there I heard him say it was no longer open. Anyway..the guy ended up giving Tim a list of jobs, which Tim went over and found 35F.

The recruiter reserved the job for Tim...the following day Tim went up to the recruiter's station to take care of more information. Turns out, the guy reserved the wrong job. So he went back in hoping the job was still there to reserve it for him...he got the last open slot.


So we got the job reserved. Awesome.

Then yesterday came. Instead of missing another day or work by riding the shuttle down to San Antonio at one, Tim waited til he got off work to drive himself. His recruiter told him to meet him at the office at 5:00pm so he could give Tim all his paperwork to take down to MEPS. So there we sat in the car at 4:45pm in front of a closed office. The guy wasn't even there. The doors were locked and he wasn't answering his cellphone. So after waiting 30 minutes Tim had to call a separate recruiter and have him come up there and get it for him.

So Tim got on the road and went to MEPS, everything was awesome...til he got to MEPS and started reading his information in his packet.

THE RECRUITER CHANGED HIS APPLICATION!!!!

Nowhere in Tim's folder was the documentation for Tim's surgery as an infant that left a 5 inch scar on his stomach. The documentation the recruiter was suppose to get, since it happened in a military hospital and he would of been able to get it before we could of. It wasn't in there anywhere. In fact...on the application, where Tim had marked 'yes' for past surgeries...the box was marked 'no'. Where Tim had marked 'yes' for scars from his surgery during infancy..there was 'bike accident'. Where Tim had marked 'yes' for smoking...it was marked 'no'. We were beyond livid.

The recruiter changed his application. Flat out re-did those sections.

So as soon as Tim found this out, he called his recruiter. The recruiter told him "you have to lie..if you tell them its from a surgery..they will disqualify you" I knew that wasn't true, I had already done plenty of research and that surgery was okay as long as it was done during infancy, which it was. He told Tim that Tim had to lie and say it was from a bike accident. Yeah, no, not happening.

So Tim had to explain to the physician during his physical why those boxes were marked wrong. Not only that, had Tim of lied..he would of been caught. They had already pulled his medical records from St.Louis and knew about his surgery. They said it was fine. So thank God my husband didn't try to lie like that idiot wanted him too.

Not only did the recruiter change the medical portion...he put that Tim's mother was a US citizen, that she was born in Austin, TX. Why would he do that? She isn't illegal, she has her green card...and we had given him all of the information, so why would he change that? This made Tim's security clearance not add up, so instead of swearing in today at 12:30pm...he swore in at 4:30pm. They had to wait til Tim's dad was able to get off work, drive home, get Sandy's information..give it to Tim who in turn gave it to the security check woman. What a PITA. All easily avoidable had the man not of changed Tim's information.

But anyway..my husband was eventually sworn in to the military.

An update

An update about our lives.

Mackenzie turns 3 on the 16th, oh my gosh where did the time go?! She has grown so much, I am so proud of my beautiful baby girl.

Her first professional photo


Her daddy holding her, look how small she was.



Madison has started saying 'no', which is very exciting. I know everyone thinks its cute the first time their child says it, and as they get older and say it more frequently the charm fades, but right now we are so happy. She doesn't talk, she just babbles. At this age Mackenzie could speak, tell you animal sounds, body parts, the whole deal. Madison...no speakage...just babbles. So the fact that she says no, is awesome. (It has been discussed with her pediatrician that if she isn't speaking by the time she turns 2, we will look into speach therapy.)


Anyway..on to the stuff that everyone wants an update about, Tim and the military.

Tim had originally thought he would join the air force, but he has been offered higher pay in the Army. He will be paid more for doing ROTC in high school and for speaking fluent German. The air force wasn't willing to pay him anything more for those two, so we decided Army. He was also having a hard time finding a job that he was interested in within the Air Force. He had planned on studying for about a month then taking the ASVAB, but on Friday our plan was set in to fast pace when he was laid off at work. The economy sucks...
So he is studing for his ASVAB and will take it within the next two weeks. Tomorrow he is going to go talk to an Army Recruiter just to see what they have to say. He has been speaking to my brother Trenton, who has been in the Army for a good while now and he has been talking to his dad who was also in the Army. Trenton has been speaking to one of his friends who is a recruiter and he has been completely honest with Tim. He has no reason to lie to him, seeing as he wouldn't be the one signing Tim up.

So where we are at right now is, Tim needs to take his asvab, see what his score is and talk to a recruiter.

I will update again, when the next steps have happened.

I am also looking for a job between now and then so Tim can stay home with the girls as much as possible before having to go to basic and AIT. If you have any good job suggestions let me know. I don't do food, retail or pet poop, haha.

Military

Tim is currently looking into joining the military, the air force. He had originally planned to join the marines straight out of high school, but since we ended up getting pregnant with Mackenzie, he decided it wasn't what he wanted to do anymore. Plus the marines aren't known to be very 'family friendly'. So he is now looking into the air force, which has been suggested as the most family oriented military branch, which is his biggest concern with joining.

He took his plumbing exam again and last week got the results that he failed again. He has to wait another 60 days before even applying to take it again. He isn't very confident that he will pass it if he takes it a third time, because he studied extremely hard this past time.

He currently isn't making any money, and we are falling behind on our bills. We have moved in with my mother to help the financial issue, that way we don't have a rent to pay each month.

He is looking into joining the military because it's job security for the next four years, paid housing, discounted food and health insurance and paid college for Tim, then he also has job security when he gets out. It will help us in the long run and in our current situation.

The downfall is all the time away from myself and the girls and the highly likely deployments in the future. I'm stressed out because I can't begin to imagine how hard it will be, to be a single mom while he is away. I have been told by people IN the air force and by the recruiters, that unless you join special forces that deployments within the air force are short, 4-6 months. So that is a plus compared to the long deployments with the other branches.

Yesterday Tim's mother bought him the ASVAB book, so we could both study. Since we have two kids and our income to debt ratio is currently higher than 40% we have to have a waver. In order to get this waver Tim has to make over a 65 on the ASVAB. Seeing as he has never taken the ASVAB before, we got the book to study, that way he will be prepared.

Right now this is all up in the air, but it's something we are seriously considering. It's not so much something we want, but it's currently the best option right now in the long run. Please pray for our family as we deal with this.